I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
