I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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