just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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