Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
