dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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