when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize