Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize