If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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