What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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