we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
