Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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