Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
