Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
