Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize