well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
