We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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