I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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