My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
