either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
