Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
MIDGETS
????
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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