I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
