She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
