Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
