I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
