is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Randomize
