There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
