Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
