I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
