having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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