Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
