i don't like sucking hair
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
