Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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