Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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