i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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