Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
