he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
