you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
