Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
