had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
