My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
