ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
