what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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