i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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