You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
