Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
