remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I enjoy the company of your penis
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