You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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