I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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