he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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