I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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