You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize