Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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