all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
