Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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