What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
