Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
