I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
