Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
