I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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